How our emotions can influence our dogs

I believe our animals can mirror what is happening within us. Our emotions, stress and life experiences can sometimes influence how they respond. For me, noticing this is a reason to slow down and pay attention to the connection we share.

They’re watching us all the time

Our dogs are very sensitive to how we are. I believe that from my own experience of living with and listening to dogs for a long time, but you don’t need to share my beliefs to notice it. Dogs read body language constantly: the set of our shoulders, the speed we move at, whether we’re really there with them or somewhere else in our heads. They hear tone before words. They know the difference between a calm "come on then" and a sharp one.

They also notice routine. When our lives are disrupted – stress at work, a change at home, a bereavement – the walks shift, the mealtimes drift, the evening on the sofa doesn’t happen. For a dog, that’s a lot of change with no explanation.

I think they can mirror us

This is my own perspective, offered gently. I believe animals can mirror what’s going on within us. Our emotions, our stress and the things happening in our lives can shape how our animals respond, and noticing that can tell us something about the relationship, and often something about ourselves. I’m not talking about anything mystical here; I’m talking about paying attention.

What I’m not saying

I’m not saying your dog’s behaviour is your fault, and I’m not saying that calming down will fix a behavioural or health problem. Every dog is an individual, with their own history and their own needs. If your dog is unwell, see your vet. If you’re worried about their behaviour, a qualified behaviourist is the right person. What I’m describing sits alongside that, not instead of it.

A few things worth trying

Taking a breath before you pick up the lead. Walking a little slower than feels natural and watching what your dog notices. Keeping the small routines going when everything else is in flux. Putting the phone away for one walk a day. Simply sitting with them for ten minutes with nothing else to do.

None of these are rules. They’re small ways you might make more space for your animal in the day. And if you’d like a whole day to practise slowing down together, that’s exactly what my Canine Retreats are for.